gingeeersnap asked: Happy birthday!! You are so cute, I love the pic you put on this morning and the one of you and your grandma:) Hope your doing good. You one of my favorite blogs

Thank you love!

solemnspring asked: I just want to let you know it's really sad to sit back and see the rough times you're going through right now, with no control on your end. Clearly you don't deserve this, but you're being the bigger person and that's amazing. I've followed you for the longest time and you're such a strong, independent and amazing person. I can't imagine how hard things are for you right now, but stay strong. Only time and optimism will get you through this. xo

I’m actually doing really well. Those are somewhat old posts. Thank you though.

Blaming Garrett’s parents for sending him away.
Blaming myself for being the one that ended it.
Blaming other kids for giving him the drugs and alcohol and helping him sneak out.
But in the end, I know it was Garrett that chose those things. Garrett decided that he would risk everything he had here to get high. He looked at our relationship and said, “Yeah, it’s worth a gamble.” And he lost. He decided to take himself away from here and from me and now I’m supposed to just sit here and listen to his mom tell me to move on and live my life and basically forget Garrett. I still love him so much. I don’t want anyone else. But it’s almost every day that something new happens. I find out something else that breaks my heart or makes me angry. And now his parents are almost working against me, they’re my only line to Garrett and they treat us as if we’re just untimely friends and I’ll get over it soon. How do I do this? I don’t even know where to begin to start making myself feel okay again.

Anonymous asked: (part 1 lol) By some of your wording I'm assuming he's going to a rehab? My boyfriend went through the same thing. He was addicted to pills and heroin. Whether it's to that extent or worse, (or I could be completely off track period) just know being there for him means more than you could ever imagine. Knowing he has you supporting him means even more than the keepsakes you've traded. Just stay positive. I assure you things will get so much better. Especially in the long run. My boyfriend and I

See below.

Anonymous asked: (part 2!) made it through that dark time and now he's been completely sober for almost 13 months. I wish you two nothing but luck and happiness. Just know you're not alone. Take care doll

This honestly almost made me tear up. This means more than you could imagine. I know in my heart and I have this gut feeling that is everything is going to turn out amazing. He’s a really strong person. Thank you so much for this message. It means a lot to me.

I can’t sleep so I’m on here, listening to music.

I put on Bon Iver thinking it’d make me feel better but instead it just makes me feel like wanting to crawl into bed and not think of anything until you come home. Remember when I made that playlist? And I kept adding to it every few weeks, until we had a list of like 20 songs that we’d just lay together and listen to at your house in your little guest room. We never got sick of it, we’d play it every time, over and over again. We fell in love to those songs. 

And now you’re gone. And I miss you so much and I know that now you’ll be gone longer than I’ve even known you. And nobody gets it and nobody sees because we keep so much stuff private. I’ve had a serious boyfriend. I know what it feels like. But literally everything was different with you. It was all completely new and wonderful because it was something I hadn’t experienced. I wouldn’t trade any of it for anything. Even though some horrible things happened and you slid back into that dark place we were always scared of… But I know you’re going off to fix yourself and I will wait for you and I love you and I’m gonna hold down the fort until you get back. 

I didn’t even get to really tell you goodbye, because I was at work. Your texts are gonna be saved in my phone and I’m gonna read them over and over again every time I miss you. I feel like it’s gonna be a lot. 

Keep your promise to me, do well, get healthy, come back to me.

Time to let go. Time to move on. Time to breathe.